Across the Sea
by Uhtred of Bebbanburg
Summary: A heartbroken and world weary Dragonborn leaves Tamriel for shores unknown. Surviving disaster and with a promise to his daughter that he'd return home, he would first have to help a young woman fighting for survival.


_A/N – For those who might have read 'Land of My Fathers', some of this might seem familiar as the following story continues on from that, though by some distance (at least ten years after the final chapter.) For anyone who hasn't read that, I'm not saying you have to read it, but you'll get a better understanding of Uhtred Dragonborn if you do…_

 _If you are an Elder Scrolls fan, I ignored one or two minor things though nothing too lore breaking. However, the major thing I did change is that The Last Dragonborn has children, who now carry his gift. (Not that it's particularly important to the story.)_

 _For anyone concerned about just a rehash of the Witcher plot with the Dragonborn now involved, that hopefully won't happen. I will be adapting characters and certain elements from that universe to fit my narrative. The only major element taken will be Ciri being on the run from the Wild Hunt, but I will touch on other features, such as the war between the Northern Kingdoms and Nilfgaard. At this early stage, I'm unsure how heavily involved Geralt will be in my story (I'm still deciding whether I'll have them buddy up or not). I'll see how it goes._

* * *

I was the most powerful man on Tamriel. I was the Dragonborn, no longer the last, but I still had the full power of the Thu'um at my disposal, if I chose to use it. I was Emperor of Tamriel, and had spent the better part of nearly two decades putting the pieces of Empire back together, uniting it for the first time since the last of the Septim Emperors. I was High King of Skyrim, the crowns of Empire and Skyrim united for the first time in history. I commanded great armies. I had the will and love of most people under my rule. I had an heir and a spare, ready to continue the years of work in my name. The Fifth Era had started brightly and our success should only continue as the years passed.

Yet I was completely helpless as I paced the hallway outside the bedroom I had shared with Serana since the day I had been crowned emperor, and she crowned my queen. A room of thousands of happy memories, at least until the past six months…

My eldest son, Uhtred, leaned against a wall, watching me pace in front of him with just his eyes. I knew he was concerned about my mood. Ever since she had fallen ill, I had barely done a thing except worry about her. But my son was a good man, and he had taken up the slack as I fell apart. Next to him was Aela, his mother. A woman who was still in love with me all these years later, who had never even taken another partner. I returned that love, just not in the same way, being my closest friend except for my wife. Ragnar, my youngest son, stood alongside his mother, Lydia. They conversed quietly, though about what, I do not know. Julia sat on a chair opposite the door, watching it intently.

For those not aware of the situation, after curing Serana all those years ago, she confessed she would be unable to bear children. After becoming emperor, and to ensure my legacy, Serana organised with Aela, who had been cured of lycanthropy years before, and Lydia to provide me with an heir. Each had provided me with a son, while Serana and I had adopted a girl from an orphanage in the city, and she had agreed to name her after my mother.

Finally, the door opened as one of the healers walked out, looking around and heading straight for me. He was immediately joined by the other two healers. I escorted the trio away from my children towards a nearby room. Closing the door, I simply looked at them, waiting for the news.

"I am sorry, sire."

Ever have your heart shatter into a million pieces? I walked backwards until I felt something against the back of my legs so I could sit down. "How long?" I managed to ask, looking at the floor. I couldn't stand to meet their eyes and the sorrow I would see in them.

"We are doing everything we can for the pain, but whatever it is that ails her, there is nothing we can do."

"How long?" I asked again.

"A matter of days, maybe a couple of weeks at most, sire. She is weakening with each day, as you know. She will eventually fall asleep and not wake again. After that, all we can do is watch until… the end, sire."

"Have you left enough potions until then?"

"Yes, sire. More than enough."

I stood up and now met their eyes, offering my hand. Shaking each one, I thanked them for all their efforts. I knew they would feel guilt for not being able to save the wife of the emperor, but it wasn't their fault. I wanted to blame the Nine, but it wasn't their fault either. Sadly, heart-breakingly, I remembered the same thing happening to my mother many years before. Cruel fate meant my wife would suffer the same painful last few days as her. The healers stated they would continue to visit and do what they could until the very end, but as for treatment, it was now a case of just making her comfortable.

Walking back out into the hallway, my three children stood immediately. I would always see them as children, though Uhtred was now very much a man, Ragnar following in his brother's footsteps. Julia was father's little girl, always would be, even at her age now as a beautiful young woman, and I still doted on her constantly. She took one look at my face and immediately hugged me tight.

"We understand, father," my eldest stated. I met his eyes and I could see the heartbreak in mine reflected in his. "How long does mother have?"

My children had two mothers. Their birth mother, and my wife, as the three women had raised all three children between them.

"As many days until the Nine choose to take her from us." I sighed, still hugging my daughter. I could have told them more, but they didn't really need to know. When the time came, as long as they spent as much time with her until then, that is the only thing that would matter.

Kissing the top of Julia's head, I handed her off to Lydia as I approached the bedroom door. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed the handle and walked inside, quietly closing it behind me. The room itself remained unchanged. I could look around and see all the small changes Serana had made over the years to make the room truly ours.

Lying in the middle of our bed was my wife, not taking my eyes from her as I walked towards the side, gently sitting down. Her hair was as still as dark as night, despite the illness. Her skin was now pale, the colour she had earned over years in the sun having slowly diminished. She had lost weight, her hands and fingers looking thinner than they should. But she could always sense my presence, opening to reveal those gorgeous green eyes of her, the smile forming immediately, despite the pain.

"You look like you're about to cry, husband," she said quietly, taking my hand.

"Do you really blame me if I did?"

She gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "What did they say? And don't lie to me. You've never been good at it. You're far too honest."

"A couple of weeks at most."

"More than enough time to be intimate again and again then." I couldn't help laugh. Despite staring death in the face, her mind was just like how mine used to be. "What, you're going to deny a dying woman a last request?"

I kept laughing, using the back of my hand to dry my cheeks, before I kicked off my boots to lay down beside her. She managed to turn onto her side, noticing how the blankets kept hidden her thinning body. She simply scooted closer to me so I could kiss her forehead and hold her. Despite appearing thin, I couldn't feel her ribcage or spine on her back. A slight relief…

"I'm not afraid, Uhtred," she whispered, "I've lived a long life. A very long life. But these last twenty years and more with you have been the best by far. Every day with you has been filled with nothing but love. We have three wonderful children. We have brought peace to the Empire. And you have done nothing but gone out of your way to ensure I lived a happy life. I couldn't have wished for more."

My voice caught for a moment. "We were supposed to grow old together…"

"The Nine have other plans for me, Uhtred. It is their will." She coughed for a moment before clearing her throat. "Do not be angry at them. Be angry at the disease that now has hold over my body."

"I'm not angry at the Nine. It's just…" I trailed off with a sigh, unable to express the whirling thoughts and emotions inside.

She looked up into my eyes as I ran a hand through her hair, feeling it was a little thinner. Her hand went to my cheek, still as warm as the day she arrived on the steps of Breezehome having been cured. She ran her fingers through my beard, now greying slightly with each year that passed. "Still as handsome as the day I met you." Then she smiled before adding, "Maybe one or two more lines on your face. And more grey in your hair too."

"And you're still as beautiful."

"Well, I hope so. I want intimacy, remember?" I kissed her. I kissed her in a way she liked and that would normally have led to other things. When we broke apart, the smile on her face had only broadened. "Well, even after all these years, husband, you certainly know how to prove a point."

She cuddled into me, simply lying together in comfortable silence until I could hear and feel her fall asleep. Managing to lie her back down, I ensured she was snug and warm before kissing her forehead. Even asleep, she would smile at my touch, whether a kiss on her forehead or even just taking her hand. A sixth sense that she just knew it was me. I sat on the edge of the bed, just watching her sleep, seeming to be at peace and without pain, at least for a little while, before I finally walked out.

Back in the hallway, my three children, Aela and Lydia were still waiting. I explained that she was asleep, but they could all go see her tomorrow morning. The children were not particularly happy, but agreed to wait, and after hugging each of them, they disappeared with Lydia. Aela remained, and then she hugged me too. "I could hear you laughing. I assume she was being inappropriate?"

"As always. She won't let illness get in the way of our shared laughter nor intimacy."

"Will you?"

"Of course. She is my wife, who I love and adore more than anything. We'll just have to be careful."

She let me go and we headed back to the throne room. Mjoll was waiting for me as always, as was Lydia, joining them at the long table that sat in front of the throne. Banners of each country of the Empire hung along each wall, even that of Summerset Isle, where rebellion was still talked of but nothing happened. The Thalmor were long defeated, and many elves just wanted to get on with their lives. To either side of the throne behind me was a statue of Talos, the whole point of my war with the Thalmor.

Taking a seat at the head of the table, we discussed matters of state. As usual, it was generally bad news but nothing to cause any major concern to myself nor the Empire I had helped put back together. It was usually the lords of Cyrodiil unhappy about something, the jarls of Skyrim unhappy about something, so on and so forth.

"Is there actually any good news?" I wondered, "You know, something to help take my mind off my personal problems."

"The Imperial Navy are ready to unveil a brand new ship. The Lord Admiral believes it is a ship capable of sailing beyond Akavir," Mjoll reported.

"For what purpose? I have no ambition of ever sailing there. Not after the debacle of Uriel Septim V and the losses we sustained. Tamriel is enough."

"It's merely a sign of our power, sire," Lydia stated, "The Lord Admiral was hoping you would visit the docks to launch it."

"I won't be leaving the palace until…" I didn't even want to say it, but Mjoll and Lydia knew immediately what I was I referring to.

"I will write the Lord Admiral and request he hold the launch until afterwards."

"Thank you. Anything else?"

"No, sire," they stated in unison.

"One last thing. Uhtred has obviously been taking on a larger role. Our personal situation doesn't help, but he must also learn but it takes to rule. How has he been doing?"

"He is eager to learn, sire," Mjoll stated.

Lydia nodded her head in agreement. "And he takes just after his father. He is already a good man."

"The Empire will be in safe hands when I'm gone then." I saw their faces and had a good chuckle. "Don't worry, I'm not planning on going anywhere just yet. But it's good to know you think he's already learning what is required of him."

Dinner that night with my children was a subdued affair. We knew their mother was ill, gravely ill, but today was the first time the healers had clarified how bad it was. I had prayed daily to the Nine and hoped against hope that she would recover. I knew my children had prayed every day in the chapel, calling on all Nine Divines to save her. But either our prayers were to go unanswered, or as my wife had stated, they had other plans for her. What plans they could be, I'd never know.

The trio had little to say, and to be honest, I didn't really know what to say to them in return. I could only tell them one thing in the end. That I loved them all. All that did was make Julia cry, and she needed a cuddle with her father after that. Uhtred was stony faced as usual, at that age when showing any sort of emotion was apparently a bad thing. Ragnar tried to take after his brother. He failed sometimes.

Later that evening, I was in one of the sitting rooms by the fireplace, enjoying a drop of alcohol. I thought I'd remain by myself until I was joined by my eldest. I handed him a glass so he could join his father.

"Can I ask a question and have an honest answer, father?" I looked at him and nodded. I had never lied to my children. They knew everything about their lives. "How long does she really have?"

"The healers said no more than a couple of weeks. Your mother is in fine spirits, but she is clearly not very well."

"You should remain with her, father."

I couldn't help smile at him. "Got your eyes on the big job already?"

"No, father," he said with laughter, before turning serious, "But we all know how much you love and adore mother. And if you don't have long left together, then you should spend every moment you can with her."

I reached across and grabbed his hand for a moment. "My son is wise beyond his years."

"I'm now old enough to appreciate what you shared. I mean, you never left a room without a kiss and telling each other you loved each other. How many days have you actually spent apart since you married? She even followed you into warzones."

"Speaking of love, I understand you're courting the daughter of the Count of Chorrol…"

"She is a fine young woman, father."

"Do you love her?" He shrugged. "The only reason I ask is that, at the moment, you can enjoy yourself, but there are expectations, being heir to the throne."

He groaned, which made me smile. Sometimes, there were small reminders of his youth. "I know, father, but I'm allowed my fun, am I not? I'm not sure if it will get serious, but as she studies at the university, and we clearly get along, yes, I am courting her at the moment."

"I would like to meet her one day." He gave me a look, which caused me to chuckle. "Not to judge her or anything. I merely wish to meet her."

"And mother?"

I shook my head. "No. The young woman doesn't need to know. And your mother doesn't need to think about things like that in her final days."

Serana was still asleep when I joined her in bed that evening. Despite being asleep, she always knew when I slid under the blanket, immediately rolling towards my body. She murmured something in her sleep, no doubt 'I love you', as I wrapped an arm around her, kissed her forehead again, and tried to go to sleep. It was rather difficult, as always, knowing I would not experience the feeling of her beside me for too much longer. It was during those moments in the dark as I held her that I allowed myself to quietly weep. She always knew, waking up to kiss me, or just stroke my face, and assure me in those moments of weakness that everything would be alright.

Then, despite her illness, we would make love. "I'm still alive," she would whisper, "And as long as I'm alive, you will perform your husbandly duties by proving how much you love me."

I had never denied my wife a thing. I'd have travelled to the far corners of Tamriel if she had wanted a flower that grew in a cave that descended miles beneath the surface, that was guarded by a troll five times the size of a dragon, that could only be killed by sticking my finger in its eye. I mean, if that's not love, what is? All I know is that, if asked, I'd have left the next day and done everything in my power to return with it.

I barely left our room after that, moving in a small table and chair so I could at least work while she slept, or she would happily lie there and watch me work. Only the children, Aela or Lydia would enter. Serana said there was no point having the healers in, she had the potions needed to keep the pain at bay. Hand on heart, my children were brilliant. No tears, at least while she was awake, the trio making her laugh with their stories, of either what they were doing now, or reminiscing of the years they had grown up at the palace. Aela and Lydia had always been close with my wife, and Serana none too quietly insisted that both take care of me when she was gone.

We barely spent a moment apart until the end. I would treasure every single moment. If not working, I would lie on the bed next to her, and we would cuddle, maybe kiss, definitely talk, and just occasionally, make love until it was simply impossible to do. Once we reached that point, I simply held her, and she reassured me through those moments as much as I reassured her.

One morning, she didn't wake up, and calling in the healer, he confirmed she had entered 'the long sleep', which she would remain in until she finally passed. He predicted no more than a couple of days. The children came in to say their last goodbyes, and each of them had little problem now crying in front of me. I stayed with my wife until the very end, just as I'd promised I would.

Serana Dragonborn, Queen of the Empire, Queen of Skyrim, the love of my life, my soulmate, the one I would have traded my own life for, died on the tenth of Sun's Height, 5E 22. She passed as I lay beside her. I swear to the Nine, just before she passed, she sighed one last time. It was then that I checked for signs of life as shown by the healers. Once I knew she was gone, I kissed her forehead, made sure the bed was made, before I walked into the hall. It was now crowded with people. My children. Aela. Lydia. Mjoll. Priests and priestesses of the Nine. Servants. Faces I recognised. Some I did not.

I took a deep breath. "Queen Serana has passed."

Julia immediately ran into my arms. Ragnar did his best to remain stoic. It lasted five seconds before he needed his father. Uhtred shed tears, but he simply met my eyes and nodded otherwise. We would speak later. "Preparations are already in place, sire," Lydia said quietly.

"Letters?"

"Were sent as soon as she didn't wake."

"Very well. Let the priestesses prepare the body. Are funeral preparations underway?"

Lydia nodded. "Yes, sire. Everything is either already prepared or in the process of being readied."

"Okay. Everyone just do what they need to do then."

Lydia and Aela started issuing orders as I left them to it. Part of me wanted to desperately return to the bedroom, even if just to be with her body, but my eldest could see my eyes, so ensured I was dragged away to the sitting room. Sat down in one of the chairs by the fireplace, Julia sat on my lap, tears still dripping down her face, as I found a glass in my hand, filled to the brim with liquor.

"Give one to your brother too," I suggested. He was old enough, so he could join us. Julia wasn't quite old enough, and I think too upset to do anything except cuddle with her father.

The four of us sat together for at least a couple of hours, barely talking. Julia shuddered every so often as she brought her emotions under control, and I think she eventually had a nap. Ragnar and Uhtred simply sat by their father, quietly sipping at their glasses, staring into the fire with their own thoughts. I noticed Ragnar occasionally wipe his cheeks, and my eldest finally had to do the same too.

"There is no shame in showing your emotions," I said, "Particularly in the next few days. If you need to weep, then weep. Trust me on this, my eyes are not going to be dry."

"It's not fair," Julia complained quietly.

I gave her a gentle squeeze. "No, it's not, sweetheart. It most certainly is not. I thought we would grow old and grey together. I thought we'd see our children provide us with grandchildren. I had hoped to turn the throne over to my son so we could watch him rule instead as we doddered around the palace, getting in his way, much to our amusement." That provoked at least a little laughter, before I sighed. "But it is the will of the Nine."

Dinner was another subdued affair. Julia barely ate, and I couldn't blame her, as I barely ate either. She eventually headed to bed early, and I was forever thankful when Aela went with her to keep her company. She wasn't just my personal bodyguard, she looked after our children, and was now more a friend than anything else.

Ready for bed myself later that evening, I entered our bedroom to see Serana had been taken away for preparation. Looking at the bed, I knew then and there that I'd never sleep in that room again. I wouldn't keep it as a shrine, that would be a little too weird, but… There were too many memories. I grabbed a couple of pillows and went searching for a spare room, eventually just finding an empty guest room and falling asleep in there.

News of her death spread across the city over the next couple of days. Thousands upon thousands of mourners arrived at the gates of the palace, and a sea of flowers soon lay outside. Against the wishes of my guards, I went out to meet the people, shaking many hands through the bars, thanking them for their thoughts. In addition to that, the lords and ladies of the various provinces of Tamriel started to arrive.

One of the first to arrive was my good friend, Jarl Balgruuf. He walked in as I sat alone on my throne, and the first thing he did was hug his good friend, consoling him over his loss. His voice broke as much as mine did when I thanked him. It had been at least a couple of years since we had last seen each other, but as we sat down at the long table over a tankard of mead to catch up, it was as if the whole Dragon Crisis had been only yesterday. The only difference is I was a little greyer, and he was a little balder.

It took a week for everyone to arrive and preparations across the city. As the Temple of the One had been dismantled, the dragon statue left as a shrine to the Septim Emperors, I had ordered a new Temple of Talos be built nearby. I'll admit, there were slightly personal reasons for it, considering the lingering dislike of the White-Gold Concordat that I had burned and consigned to history after defeating the Thalmor.

It was a large structure, a sign of our devotion, not only to Talos, but to the Nine. Grand, yes, but I made sure it wasn't ostentatious. I was the last to enter, everyone standing and gesturing with the Imperial salute, as I made my way to the front to take a seat next to my children.

There were readings by the High Priest. Songs were sung. And there were speeches. Thankfully they were not endless. One was by Jarl Balgruuf, who knew Serana and I very well. My eldest son rose and spoke at the podium, impressing me at how eloquent he was. And then it was my turn.

Everyone else had spoken from a sheet of paper, or at least something that would help guide them. I simply strode to the podium, removed my crown, and looked over the crowd. I recognised many of the faces. The lords and ladies of Cyrodiil and the jarls of Skyrim most of all. Many I considered friends. A few were close friends. The Companions had made the journey, Vilkas and Farkas resplendent in their armour as joint Harbingers. The Dawnguard were still operating, now working in conjunction with the Vigilants of Stendarr. But I made sure the doors were open to the ordinary man and woman. Though we had lived in the palace, Serana and I made sure the people saw us often. We didn't like being shut away.

"Serana would have loved knowing that so many people had journeyed here to say goodbye to her. Though she was queen, elevated to that position because I became emperor, she never thought of herself as more than one of the people. That's why you often saw her on the streets of the Imperial City. Sure, she had bodyguards close by, but she never wanted special treatment, aware of the privileged position she found herself in. And I believe the outpouring of grief seen since the announcement, with the pool of flowers now laying outside the gates of the palace, speak volumes of the affection the people held for their queen.

But on a far more personal level…" I stopped and glanced at her body lying in state, and couldn't help the sigh before looking back out over the crowd. "To be honest, nothing I can say will ever really describe the love I had for my wife. Those who saw us together could probably share what they thought. My children were witness to it most days of their lives. We lived by only one or two rules. We never went to bed angry at each other. We told each other we loved each other at least once a day, though I always did it leaving the room.

Those of us who have met our soulmate know how lucky we are to have met someone you want to spend every waking moment with. You will do anything to make them happy, to prove how much you love that person. That's what I tried to do every single day from the day Serana and I met. I think I went at least some of the way to doing it.

Then we could discuss what you consider the best day of your life. I have equals. The birth of my children, the three you see in front of you right now. My two sons, Uhtred and Ragnar, and my daughter, Julia. But, as I'm sure Jarl Balgruuf can attest, one of the greatest days was when Serana and I were joined as husband and wife. To be honest, the day we were married, I had no intention of becoming emperor, king or anything else above or below that. I would have been content being Mr and Mrs Dragonborn, living together in our small house called Breezehome, perhaps spending a day hunting together, or sitting back with a smile as I watched Serana tend her garden.

I'm not going to drone on and on. Those of you who know me how much I loved my wife. My life ahead will not be empty. My children still live with me, and I have many friends around Tamriel. But I am going to miss her presence every single second, every single hour, every single day, for the rest of my life. Just those little things. That little smile she'd return when looking at me. The smell of her perfume that lingered on the pillow. The sway of her hips as she walked away from me. The mischievous look in her eyes when I knew she was going to do something to catch my attention. The way she said 'I love you' each and every time, no matter the occasion."

I paused again, looking out over the crowd, meeting the occasional pair of eyes. "I want to thank you on behalf of my children, myself, but most importantly Serana, for coming today."

Stepping down from the podium, I walked towards her body. She was wearing the same red dress we had been married in all those years ago. She looked paler and thinner than I remembered, though the mortician had done a marvellous job with her face. It looked like she was just asleep. Grabbing her hand, it was cold, a reminder of when I would hold it when she was a vampire. I whispered goodbye before I leaned down to kiss her forehead, then laying a gentle kiss on her lips, knowing it would be the last one.

I stayed there, holding her hand, as I heard the crowd slowly filter out behind. Serana would not be burned like a warrior. She had wanted to be buried in our home. Previous emperors were buried within the palace grounds, and in the days since, a grave had been dug for her, the headstone already in place.

"It's time, sire," Lydia said quietly.

I nodded, looking at her face a final time, before I glanced at the priest and nodded, removing my hand as he slid the lid into place. The eight of us who would carry the coffin got into place. Myself, my eldest son, Aela, Balgruuf, Mjoll, Cyrus, who had replaced Lydia while she was pregnant and had become Serana's personal servant, Field Marshal Tullius, now rather old and long since retired, but had become a close personal friend to us both, and finally Vilkas, who although co-Harbinger of the Companions, was very much the leader of the guild.

The crowds lined the roads between the temple and the palace. Nearly everyone wore black. Hundreds of flowers must have been thrown onto the road as the eight of us walked with the coffin on our shoulder. I kept my head straight, eyes on the road or on the gate ahead. It was the longest walk of my life.

Entering the palace grounds, the gates were closed as it would be a small, private ceremony, only close friend and family in attendance. In a small corner of the palace grounds were few graves. One or two were for the previous Imperial line, another few were from the time of the Septims. Next to the grave was a cloth on which we could lay the coffin. It was nothing extravagant, Serana insisting that it would be placed in the ground, and there was no need for a gaudy display of wealth just for a dead body. She said it with such humour, both of us burst into laughter. Even when facing death, she could still see the funny side.

There were two ropes which we used to lower her into the ground, and I'll admit that was when I truly started to weep. I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder, letting whoever it was know I was okay, before I grabbed the spade and started to throw dirt onto the coffin. Ragnar and Uhtred were the two to help me do that, everyone else standing back to watch. It didn't take long for us to have filled the hole, and once the dirty was flat, Julia approached with two handfuls of seed. We dropped those over the grave, knowing that in a few weeks' time, Serana's favourite flowers would soon bloom. I could close my eyes and still see the smile on her face when I mentioned we would do that.

Returning to the throne room, the invited guests were waiting for us to walk in. I had my hand shaken, received many hugs, and the words were kind. I could only thank them for attending and that Serana would have appreciated the fact so many cared. Uhtred impressed me, ever more the statesman, and as I watched him work the room with his brother and sister, I already started thinking about what to do next.

My face must have reflected my thoughts, as once the wake was over, I retired to the sitting room with Balgruuf, Farkas and Vilkas. I was tempted to get properly drunk, but if I did that, I'd end up weeping and completely miserable in front of my friends. That didn't stop me enjoying some fine Colovian brandy though.

"You're contemplating something," Farkas finally stated.

"I am. Something Lydia mentioned a few days ago. The navy has built a new ship that can apparently make it to Akavir. I'm sure we have ships that can do that already, but I think the suggestion is that this ship is something special."

"You're not thinking of another invasion?" Balgruuf wondered, aghast at such an idea.

"No. I fail to see what Akavir can provide that we don't already have here. But why not head there to explore? But then I think, we know of Akavir, what's further than that?"

"So you're thinking about leaving?" Vilkas asked.

I knocked back my glass of my brandy, re-filled it, then took another sip before replying. "I don't know. There's two halves of me at the moment. One half is saying I should just get back to work, mourn properly, and just get on with my life. The other half looks around this palace and I see Serana everywhere. And all I want to do is pack my things and leave because everything is a reminder. But I can't do that because I'm emperor."

"There's no problem with taking time for yourself, sire," Balgruuf suggested, to the nods of the other two, "Particularly as you have just suffered tremendous loss."

"I can't just leave my eldest in charge. He's suffering just as much as myself."

"While true, I think everyone knows you need time to mourn, sire. And I think the people will certainly understand if you wished to take that time."

I gave his words some thought over the next week, and finally told Lydia to send a letter to the Lord Admiral, advising him that I would be visiting the naval dockyards in Leyawin. Immediately curious as to why, I reassured her that, for now, I simply wanted to see this vessel and watch it launched. Other than that, I would discuss the naval situation with the Lord Admiral.

As I never travelled alone, I informed Aela of my idea, and I think she was rather keen on escaping the palace for a while herself. I wanted it to just be us two, but Mjoll, Lydia and Aela both put their foot down. I might be the emperor and Dragonborn, but I had to concede they were only concerned for my welfare, so I agreed that we'd also take a half dozen men with us.

A fortnight after the funeral, I sat down with my children in the sitting room and let them know what I was doing. I didn't have to, but they were smart and probably had an inkling of what I was going to tell them.

"You're leaving?" Julia said quietly.

"No," I said quickly, "I'm just going to the docks to see a new ship."

"But you want to go, father. I know you do. Ragnar and I can both see it in your eyes. Ever since mother…"

My eldest knew me better than most. I held my arms out for Julia to sit on my lap before I replied. She wasn't much younger than my eldest, but I still saw her as if she was a small child. She was definitely not that any longer, but she liked to sit on my lap for some cuddles with her father. She'd always be my little girl. "I am thinking about it," I admitted, "But that would mean leaving my children behind. Before you even think it, though, I'm not going forever."

"Where would you go?" Ragnar wondered.

"I'm not sure. But you know I look around this palace and see your mother all the time. It's almost too much to bear." I paused before looking at my eldest, adding, "I will put it like this. If I do leave, the crown will pass on. The Empire cannot have an absent emperor."

I almost laughed at my sons face as he asked, "You're serious?"

"Absolutely. You're as ready as you can be, Uhtred. Next is actually ruling. And you won't be alone. You will have Ragnar and Julia as support, as well as Lydia, Aela, Mjoll and everyone within the palace. You won't be alone, none of you will be."

Julia just hugged me a little tighter. "Can you take me with you?"

"I'd love to, munchkin, but the sea is no place for a young lady. Plus, you still have your studies to complete. And your brothers are going to need their little sister to keep them on the straight and narrow. But this is merely speculation. I haven't made a decision yet, and I won't make it without talking to you first. But will you understand it if I do?" Uhtred and Ragnar both nodded. Julia stayed silent, so I just hugged her a little tighter. "I know what you're thinking, sweetheart. But my heart…"

"I know, daddy," she said quietly. Using that word of fatherly affection for me near made me weep. She only ever called me that when she wanted something from me or when she was upset and needed her father. Leaving the three behind would hurt, but leaving my little girl… "Just don't make a hasty decision," she added.

"I won't. I promise."

I knew leaving would be selfish, but my kids were now grown. My son would become Emperor of Tamriel. His brother would be next in line until his brother had children, and would spend his life helping his brother. And Julia, already a princess, would do whatever she damn well pleased, as I placed no expectations on her. But she was third in line at the moment. and would rule should the worst ever happen. If I did leave for another adventure, I knew the safety and security of the Empire was assured in their hands.

The three eventually left me alone in the sitting room, resting back in my usual chair, glass in hand. Aela and Lydia eventually wandered in, probably assuming I'd fallen asleep, but I was still staring into the fire, feeling the need to wipe my cheeks every so often.

"Sire?" Aela asked.

Clearing my throat, I turned to look at them. "We're leaving for Leyawin the day after tomorrow. Make sure everything is prepared."

"And how long will you be gone, sire?" Lydia asked.

"Only a few days. I want to see this ship first before I make my decision."

* * *

 _A/N – I know, I know. A rather sad and depressing start. But it's the catalyst for what is to come. There's always a reason (and this is the second time I've made Uhtred a widower, if you happen to be reading 'Enter the Dragonborn'. I love the guy but I'm just mean to him sometimes.)_


End file.
